The Cockwomble
by Mark Altekruse
(with deepest apologies to the memories of Lewis Carroll and Clement Moore)
’Twas Infantroopen heroilynn susbesdig and foistered;
Transpants delayno loymarkers and conqueered.
His forsiva and raydoh, forshu and obsuluuz
Had airmputz duuurr nobyesno and bipartiss solucius.
Perplexed were the listeners at the man who was fat,
With his waxed mane of hair and his long red cravat.
His words a bizarre mix of vowels and consonants,
All strung together in hour-long nonsensicalness.
Beware the Cockwomble, many did speak;
He doesn’t make sense when he opens his beak.
He blathers and crows and pretends vast knowledge,
Bloviating greatness, nearly flunking out college.
Cockwomble knows all, say many a fan,
MAGA hats waving, not knowing his plan.
They lap up the bile that spews from his mouth,
Yet under his watch their welfare goes south.
His inherited wealth he did throw away,
Borrowing vast sums that he’ll never repay.
His taxes he hides, never paying, not a morsel,
Claiming he’s so smart, but he’s really immoral.
And when he became ill with COVID-19,
Many did think it was just a crime scene.
He shouted “I’m cured” from a balcony called Truman
Wanting to proclaim he was the real Superman.
But it came to pass that some of his base
Began to think him an utter disgrace.
His lies and his cheating to line his own pockets
Began to wear thin when they felt their job cuts.
Now he approaches the end of this reign,
This self-proclaimed genius has much to explain.
Too him it doesn’t matter who he throws under the bus,
For it may prevent them from being open to discuss.
His lies and disruptions they will then clarify,
In front of cameras and committees, while people decry,
“His head we must have, and like Poe: Nevermore,”
While fellow traitors call out for the next Civil War!
To prove he’s still worthy of all the high praise
From all of his people, most of them sans brains,
He’ll shout orders and wisdom and name-call from prison
Hoping his nonsense will be heard by those who’ll listen.
The words will be mangled and misunderstood
But he’ll hope and he’ll pray that some people would
Take over the prison and then set set him free
To enable, again, another crime spree.
Then he’ll stand with confederates and Nazi’s galore,
White supremacists, bigots, and all who would roar,
“Cockwomble! Cockwomble! You are our God Hero”,
This from the mouths of those who contribute zero.
Cockwomble will attempt his next rise to fame,
By standing at podiums ready to proclaim,
That words he will state are true, have no doubt
That Cockwomble will spew from that oval shaped mouth:
’Twas Infantroopen heroilynn susbesdig and foistered;
Transpants delayno loymarkers and conqueered.
His forsiva and raydoh, forshu and obsuluuz
Had airmputz duuurr nobyesno and bipartiss solucius.
His throng will nod heads, they’ll cheer and they’ll shout
“All Glory to Cockwomble, you’re a God, there’s no doubt”
No masks or protection for that fake virus, and then
We’re sure that at funerals they’ll all say Amen.
So, listen my children, to this warning I impart,
This man is not made of empathy or heart.
He will lie, he will kill, he will hate, he will steal,
He will do and say anything the truth to conceal
His true purpose is selfish and will not include you,
Yet he will make you believe you are one of his crew.
Cockwomble will score power quite beyond measure,
Until voted out, and we’ll do so with pleasure.
14 October, 2020
